Wednesday, 12 February 2014

For February 14th

This is either the best day for some or the worst for others. I’m not entirely sure how we can single out a day and hate it so much. Some people look forward to this day to tweet “Damn Single-awareness day” or “it’s just another Friday *rolling eyes*” If this may be you, I challenge you to change your attitude to this day. Valentine’s day is a lovely day to say the least. The fact that love is the most powerful force on earth so much that a day is set aside for it means something. If you’re single, I bet you have a friend (atleast one) that can do with some good, happy, no-bickering-about-how-all-men-are-dogs girl-time. It’s a day you can reach out and love on someone you don’t regularly hang out with for whatever reason. Anyways, let me give you a run down on “Love” from 1 Corinthians 13 (MSG)

1“If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

3-7Love never gives up.

So you know how you are just tired of “kissing frogs” waiting for your Prince Charming and you have sworn that love is not for you? (who even told you you have control over that?) Let me encourage you to keep crying out to God and taking care of His business, and He will take care of yours. He may give you want you want, but more importantly what you really need. He wont disregard your desires as long as they are in accordance to His will.

Love cares more for others than for self.

If you’re single, or in a relationship you’re not satisfied with, the problem may be from you. Maybe you are a bit selfish and want your needs met while disregarding your boyfriend’s needs. Silence your emotions and listen with your heart to the needs of those around you. Practice being a woman, and not a girl.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Be content with who you are. If you get a gift this Friday, be grateful. If you don’t, bless God still. You shouldn’t have time to mope and hate on those who get gifts. Love is content with all it has. Your life shouldn’t be phased by material things. If God thinks you need something, I assure you He will get it to you. Quiet your little selfish desires. You were made for more.

Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Are you humble? Do you feel entitled to everything under the sun? I believe you’re not one of those girls that post all the labels of their clothes and what-not. I know you have your head on your shoulders. I also know you have no problem with saying “thank-yous” and “sorrys.” There’s nothing more beautiful that a girl that is aware of all she is, but doesn’t rub it in people’s faces.

Doesn’t force itself on others,

I learnt to love people on the level they can handle last year. It is important that your “love” doesn’t overwhelm others or push people away. Don’t force yourself on people all because you want to love them. Your love language may differ from the next person’s. Find a way that communicates love to the person more effectively if your method isn’t working. Sometimes, love yourself enough to cut off that relationship that demands more that usual time and energy. It’s saying, “I love you, but I have to love me more.”

Isn’t always “me first,”

It’s putting others ahead of you. It shows that you are loving your neighbors as yourself. It’s sacrificing our pleasures for the enjoyment of others. They deserve it too.

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Nothing more sad than a woman whose emotions have control over her. Out in public and shouting at the sales assistant because she’s wasting your time, and rolling your eyes, cursing her out when she’s old enough to be your mum? GOD FORBID it be you. Put a lid on that and pray for God to God show you how to calm your emotions. Never let your emotions run over you... “Let your words be seasoned with grace”

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Why do we find it so easy to point out others faults while sweeping ours under the rug? We magnify people’s sins and downplay ours. We are not in any competition for crying out loud. Give grace to people everyday. Learn to overlook some faults, and think to yourself how will I want to be treated if it were me?

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Your joy should not come from the fall of anyone. Your heart should break when you see your fellow sister on a lower platform than you (morally, spiritually etc). If you’re happy when other’s fail, that’s a character flaw that should be disciplined. Learn to carry the burdens of other’s and have a heart that cares for others intentionally.

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

There is so much freedom in speaking the truth. Never stoop so low to the level of creating a chain of lies. Do you know how silly you look when the truth is found out? Spare yourself the humiliation. Stand for truth. Help the helpless even if you are doing it alone. God will back you. 

Puts up with anything,

Think of endurance. Love isn’t a quitter. It’s taking punches and standing up to take some more. (Now I’m not saying allow any man hit you...that’s not the endurance I mean. By NO means should a man ever use violence on you and you take it) It’s refusing to throw in the towel at the slightest glow of adversity. It’s standing firm and rooted with God. It’s that “come hell, come high water” attitude.

Trusts God always,

Yes!!! It stands with God no matter what happens. It runs to God first instead of that girl to cry about what happens. it’s the assurance that God knows all that’s happening and has total control over it. The devil never creates a rise of emotions in us because our hope is secured in God. It’s that ability to sleep at night knowing God is chiseling and forming your future husband. So, refuse to date just anybody to while away time. You don’t even have that time right? I know! 

Always looks for the best,

Some people just like to TRY us. They give us a million reasons why they should not be trusted, but somehow in this superwoman heart of ours, we see the good in them. We believe in them still. We understand that they are hurting, and hurting people sometimes hurt people, but it’s okay. We find that 1 reason we love them tangled in the 10 reasons they are untrustworthy.

Never looks back,

Our eyes are too fixed on the promise God has for us that we never turn back and wallow in our yesterdays. We have made peace with the wounds of what happened, and we wear the scars as reminders today. It’s tunnel vision wrapped in focus.

8 Love never dies. But keeps going to the end.

Lust stays for a while, but love remains. It’s unwavering. Our flesh lusts, but with God’s grace and spirit love remains in our hearts. The more we become like God, the easier it gets to realize true unadulterated love.

Love makes who we are as people useful. If people can feel the love you give, it will make them want to believe in this God you’re after. God’s love is people-centered and that’s why this Friday, go out of your way to be an angel to someone else. It goes against our natural inclinations as selfish beings of expecting something in return. With God, we are capable.


*Don’t accept every offer you get this Valentine’s day because you need new things. You are valuable and cannot be bought. Instead, buy something for someone (including your boyfriend)

*Sleep ON your bed before and after that day. When you are married, you will spend your entire life on the same bed. Don’t sleep with any boy who promises you heaven and earth. Let Him marry you properly if he wants you so much. Keep your clothes on and your breasts safely secured in your clothes as well. He doesn’t have the right to access you yet.

*Let your attitude be sweet this week. Who knows if your attitude may just be keeping your man from finding you? Give love to those you encounter everyday and watch it come right back in ways you didn’t expect.

I love you SO much and can’t wait to see God’s plans come to LIFE in you.
I mean well. I believe in you. You are beauty-full.
I believe in you.

Favor O.

Thursday, 6 February 2014

Love Thy Neighbor

So a while ago, I attended a friend’s birthday dinner party. After all the merriment and such, before leaving, I saw a friend that I had lost contact with. After the usual small talk, I was about to leave when I hugged her and said “You smell nice.” She stepped back and looked at me with a puzzled look on her face and hesitantly said “Thanks.” She went on to say my compliment was weird “because girls don’t comment each other.” What???? Where???? Most importantly WHY? It has been in my mind so much. We go on Instagram to stalk someone’s profile, and all the “compliments” we have are all filled with shade and ill-spirit. It’s like we train our brains to capture and reassure us of all the flaws and just why so & so is hate-worthy. One minute we are best friends with someone, and the next minute, we are talking down on the person as if somehow as we criticize the person our quality of life increases in any capacity. 

Why is there an invisible constant competition between us sisters? We try to soothe our hurts and cover our imperfections by wounding someone else. To what end? We must develop our characters to a point where a compliment, support, encouragement, and love comes as naturally to us as breathing. 

1 Timothy 5:8:
“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives (replace with sisters) and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

We must realize that this girl hate has nothing to do with the other person, but with us. Society has sold us a lie (and we ignorantly bought it too), and given us an indirect training on looking down on a girl who may even be like us or better than us (whatever that means). Magnifying another person’s flaws only make ours more visible and bigger than they probably are. It is up to us to break the norm and create a culture that builds each other up. 

To be in a culture that forces and deceives us to be who we are not and daring to be our original selves is pure success and accomplishment. 

Provers 3:17
“Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.”

Let your life be such that people miss your sweetness and crave it when you’re absent. Not have bad reports about how much of a basket-mouthed, bitter, jealous and insecure girl you are. I don’t know about you but I am committed to building the next person up. From today henceforth, I refuse to allow my words tear down, criticize, reflect and project hate or negative energy to anyone, let alone my women. It will be hard to let go of this character especially when you have been trained most of your life in it. I know what it’s like to think your way of living has been right only to have someone burst your bubble. You can’t march confidently in the direction of the “better-you” without admitting certain parts of you are amiss. So today, I hold onto the “better-me” and I promise to love her and others. It’s my time to welcome new morning in my life. I may fall along the way, and may convince myself here and there about how much bad there is in me, but I’m walking with the force of the Mighty God, and that’s all I really need. The closer I am to loving me, the more I give my inadequacies eviction letters. I’m done being bitter, it’s time to do better. Come with me!

I believe in you. Yes! You have enough character in you. Your beauty is radiant in all it’s glory. I love you and always mean well. Shut the devil up and open your heart to give and receive only love. 

Favor O.