Thursday, 6 February 2014

Love Thy Neighbor

So a while ago, I attended a friend’s birthday dinner party. After all the merriment and such, before leaving, I saw a friend that I had lost contact with. After the usual small talk, I was about to leave when I hugged her and said “You smell nice.” She stepped back and looked at me with a puzzled look on her face and hesitantly said “Thanks.” She went on to say my compliment was weird “because girls don’t comment each other.” What???? Where???? Most importantly WHY? It has been in my mind so much. We go on Instagram to stalk someone’s profile, and all the “compliments” we have are all filled with shade and ill-spirit. It’s like we train our brains to capture and reassure us of all the flaws and just why so & so is hate-worthy. One minute we are best friends with someone, and the next minute, we are talking down on the person as if somehow as we criticize the person our quality of life increases in any capacity. 

Why is there an invisible constant competition between us sisters? We try to soothe our hurts and cover our imperfections by wounding someone else. To what end? We must develop our characters to a point where a compliment, support, encouragement, and love comes as naturally to us as breathing. 

1 Timothy 5:8:
“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives (replace with sisters) and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

We must realize that this girl hate has nothing to do with the other person, but with us. Society has sold us a lie (and we ignorantly bought it too), and given us an indirect training on looking down on a girl who may even be like us or better than us (whatever that means). Magnifying another person’s flaws only make ours more visible and bigger than they probably are. It is up to us to break the norm and create a culture that builds each other up. 

To be in a culture that forces and deceives us to be who we are not and daring to be our original selves is pure success and accomplishment. 

Provers 3:17
“Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.”

Let your life be such that people miss your sweetness and crave it when you’re absent. Not have bad reports about how much of a basket-mouthed, bitter, jealous and insecure girl you are. I don’t know about you but I am committed to building the next person up. From today henceforth, I refuse to allow my words tear down, criticize, reflect and project hate or negative energy to anyone, let alone my women. It will be hard to let go of this character especially when you have been trained most of your life in it. I know what it’s like to think your way of living has been right only to have someone burst your bubble. You can’t march confidently in the direction of the “better-you” without admitting certain parts of you are amiss. So today, I hold onto the “better-me” and I promise to love her and others. It’s my time to welcome new morning in my life. I may fall along the way, and may convince myself here and there about how much bad there is in me, but I’m walking with the force of the Mighty God, and that’s all I really need. The closer I am to loving me, the more I give my inadequacies eviction letters. I’m done being bitter, it’s time to do better. Come with me!

I believe in you. Yes! You have enough character in you. Your beauty is radiant in all it’s glory. I love you and always mean well. Shut the devil up and open your heart to give and receive only love. 

Favor O.

x

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