Tuesday, 29 July 2014

||Trust Issues||

Let’s be real. Trust takes time. It’s not something you wake up and decide to do (well it shouldn’t be). We keep pushing the limits to see how far we can go without getting burned. It’s no wonder why long term relationships like marriage tend to thrive. There has been a build-up of trust along the way. Why does it hurt so much when trust is broken? Maybe it’s because of the time it took to build it.

Vulnerability is not weakness, but strength. We are so scared of being vulnerable and we find it risky even, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. When we raise high walls and fences around us, it doesn’t take long before bitterness, insecurities and fear creep in. Then we start to believe we must be in control of everything, we have to tell our hearts what to do. We start snooping around peoples phones, stalking their social media, and just being Worrying Wendy.

Why do we build walls?

Fear of the unknown.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of being taken advantage of.
Fear of commitment.
Fear of parents past.

“Have not I commanded you? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be you dismayed: for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”
  Joshua 1:9

While these fears are not abnormal, and in fact in-built into us if we don’t actively fight them, we can’t live that way. Trust issues become a problem when there is no evidence of mistrust, but we accuse them falsely, or in order to make them “confess.” If you ask me that’s insecurity/jealousy, and jealousy is most times anxiety rooted in low self-esteem. If you’re in a relationship, you remember how hard you desired a spouse. It was the only song you sang, and now you employ your fears and they begin to push your boy/girlfriend away...into the arms of someone else. Don’t let that be your story.

We create every excuse possible to why we can’t date such a guy. After all, he’s on a level we have yet to attain. How dare we love so and so. He surely will never love us back. Who am I to go for that interview? I know I won’t make it. We begin to turn to mediums and fortune-liars to see into our future and give us some sort of control over our lives.

Lies. The devil whispers lies to us until we start believing and confessing them.

So someone violated your trust. Then what? Do you really believe the world stops because of that major life-changing event? NO. Life in itself is a risk, and if you must err, err on the side of love. Choose to stay open and willing to trust. When there are no walls, our experiences are limitless. However, use your instinct to guide you. Ofcourse, people should qualify to be in your lives. Just be weary of punishing the innocent over the sins of the past. 

Dare to be vulnerable. Allow your heart to enjoy life and love without bounds. Believe that someone out there loves your whole heart and will jealously protect it from the negatives and short-comings of this world.

“Once we look the big, bad Fears in the eye and see they are simply trying to protect us from being hurt, we can simply say, “Thanks, but no thanks. I’d like to see what’s beyond that wall.”

You can rise from anything that has held you bound. You don’t have to stay captive to the deception of the devil. Your past should no longer define you, but prepare you for the future. Believe that you have all the tools necessary to living your best life yet in freedom and possibility and watch God work. I love you. I believe in you. I trust you. You are beauty-FULL. I mean well.

Have an awesome week,

Favor O.

Tuesday, 22 July 2014

God Consciousness.

We live in the age where religion is no longer popular. It’s not even cool if I’m being honest. It’s so “boring” and “old-school.” It is what our parents do, not for we the cool kids. We only remember God when we desperately need something, and we’ve tried everywhere else and nothing came through so God is the last resort. As a Christian, God should be the first call you make. He should be in our minds at ALL times and every decision we make should be as a result of Him giving us the go-ahead to do it. As the song by Israel Houghton & New Breed sings “Jesus at the center of it all...nothing else matters” that should be our daily mantra and the banner we raise high.

We are so comfortable with Jesus being our closet companion. There must come a time when we no longer feel the need to please people, but God ALONE. Your friends didn’t die for you on the cross. In fact, this life confuses them just as much as it confuses you. They don't have it all together as much as they look like they do. They didn’t take a fraction of the brutality Jesus took for you, so why the need to please them? All God requires of us is ultimate submission.  We place so many irrelevancies before Christ. Our jobs, careers, relationships, wants and desires all compete with Christ. Who gave us the right to place these things before Him anyway? We must go back to the drawing board and get our lives together. If you didn't have the comfort you have now, will you still love Him? If tomorrow a hurricane wipes away all you own, will you still praise Him? When we stand before Christ on the day of judgment, all we accumulated on this earth will not amount to anything. All that will be counted will be how we lived for Christ, what we gave up to live for Him, the sacrifices we made and all we did for His Kingdom. Nothing we live for on this earth will mean anything and they will all pass away like ashes, so you see, re-prioritize. 

Luke 9:23-26:

“Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat—I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? If any of you is embarrassed with me and the way I’m leading you, know that the Son of Man will be far more embarrassed with you when he arrives in all his splendor in company with the Father and the holy angels.”

You must let God lead your lives. He gave you this life to manage it for Him. To build His Kingdom and expand it. You cannot help yourself. Your friends can’t help you. MONEY cannot help you. Your intellect CANNOT help you. Your skills cannot help you. Self-sacrifice is the ONLY way to living your best life yet. Christianity at it’s core is not a prosperity walk. It’s not always comfortable. It will cost you something of great value. I don’t know about you but I’ll rather not “have it all” here on earth and suffer for Christ’s sake, and end up in Heaven having it ALL!!! Can you imagine that Jesus gave up HEAVEN to come and die for you and I while we were sinners. That is the ultimate sacrifice and until we get to the point where we are willing to give up our lives for Christ, we haven’t started living yet.

Every single day of your life, your thoughts should be “Is this decision going to take me to Heaven?” “Will these clothes cause that guy to lust for me?” “Will me going for drinks cause that struggling Christian’s to understand Christ more?” In a nutshell, we must be EXTREMELY deliberate about what we do. There are always eyes watching. We are on earth temporarily, and Heaven is our final resting place. Will what you’re chasing tirelessly amount to anything when it’s all said and done? This is a charge to hold everything loosely because there is no value in them. Be intentional about your walk with Christ. Sit with your unbelieving friends and be able to plant seeds of Christ in them. Don’t leave them alone. It’s not their lives and they cannot do what they want. Help them get on the straight and narrow.

Surrender and let God catch you.

Now that we know better, let’s do better.

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. You can do it. I believe in you. I only mean well.
You are beauty-full. Believe nothing else.

Have a “Good and God” week.

Favor O.