Tuesday, 29 July 2014

||Trust Issues||

Let’s be real. Trust takes time. It’s not something you wake up and decide to do (well it shouldn’t be). We keep pushing the limits to see how far we can go without getting burned. It’s no wonder why long term relationships like marriage tend to thrive. There has been a build-up of trust along the way. Why does it hurt so much when trust is broken? Maybe it’s because of the time it took to build it.

Vulnerability is not weakness, but strength. We are so scared of being vulnerable and we find it risky even, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. When we raise high walls and fences around us, it doesn’t take long before bitterness, insecurities and fear creep in. Then we start to believe we must be in control of everything, we have to tell our hearts what to do. We start snooping around peoples phones, stalking their social media, and just being Worrying Wendy.

Why do we build walls?

Fear of the unknown.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of being taken advantage of.
Fear of commitment.
Fear of parents past.

“Have not I commanded you? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be you dismayed: for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”
  Joshua 1:9

While these fears are not abnormal, and in fact in-built into us if we don’t actively fight them, we can’t live that way. Trust issues become a problem when there is no evidence of mistrust, but we accuse them falsely, or in order to make them “confess.” If you ask me that’s insecurity/jealousy, and jealousy is most times anxiety rooted in low self-esteem. If you’re in a relationship, you remember how hard you desired a spouse. It was the only song you sang, and now you employ your fears and they begin to push your boy/girlfriend away...into the arms of someone else. Don’t let that be your story.

We create every excuse possible to why we can’t date such a guy. After all, he’s on a level we have yet to attain. How dare we love so and so. He surely will never love us back. Who am I to go for that interview? I know I won’t make it. We begin to turn to mediums and fortune-liars to see into our future and give us some sort of control over our lives.

Lies. The devil whispers lies to us until we start believing and confessing them.

So someone violated your trust. Then what? Do you really believe the world stops because of that major life-changing event? NO. Life in itself is a risk, and if you must err, err on the side of love. Choose to stay open and willing to trust. When there are no walls, our experiences are limitless. However, use your instinct to guide you. Ofcourse, people should qualify to be in your lives. Just be weary of punishing the innocent over the sins of the past. 

Dare to be vulnerable. Allow your heart to enjoy life and love without bounds. Believe that someone out there loves your whole heart and will jealously protect it from the negatives and short-comings of this world.

“Once we look the big, bad Fears in the eye and see they are simply trying to protect us from being hurt, we can simply say, “Thanks, but no thanks. I’d like to see what’s beyond that wall.”

You can rise from anything that has held you bound. You don’t have to stay captive to the deception of the devil. Your past should no longer define you, but prepare you for the future. Believe that you have all the tools necessary to living your best life yet in freedom and possibility and watch God work. I love you. I believe in you. I trust you. You are beauty-FULL. I mean well.

Have an awesome week,

Favor O.

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